Day 4 is chaos and darkness. Darkness so deep, I don’t know how to step. Legs don’t understand where the land is.

This darkness started exactly on time. 19.00

It was so dark that we’ve missed the gas station. Although we had car lights on.

I tried to touch the air. It was so thick. Without any star or the lost window.

My sister built a window cover from mom’s paintings, some cardboard, and my negative fills for filming.

The first part of the day was about speed. My thought ran at such a high pace, that got lost by noon. We woke up very early. Read all news from the night. Kyiv holds strong! It’s a miracle!!

I talked, helped, managed people, cooked, calmed, and read the news all the time. Then I’ve burned some eggs and started forgetting words. The pill helped to relax.

Doing is better than waiting. Doing something calms. Waiting just lest anxiety grows and grows.

My hands have been shaking for four days now. Pill helped. It’s just a light sedative. But it helped immensely.

Everything changed. I’m falling asleep after reading instructions on destroying tanks.